When God Used My Brokenness to Build Something Beautiful

FEATURED TESTIMONY · ARKANSAS

A story of surrender, healing, and discovering God's purpose in the wilderness.

There are seasons in life when God asks you to trust Him without showing you what comes next. Seasons when everything feels uncertain, when the plans you've made begin to unravel, and when the only thing you can hold on to is the belief that the Lord is still good.

Looking back, I can see that some of the most difficult moments of my life were also the moments when God was doing His deepest work in me.

My wife, Shelby, and I felt the Lord leading our family to leave behind the life we knew in Oregon and move to Arkansas. It wasn't simply a change of scenery. It was a step of faith, one that required us to loosen our grip on familiarity, comfort, and the future we had imagined for ourselves.

We didn't have every answer. We couldn't see every step ahead. But we believed God was calling us to follow Him, and we wanted to be obedient.

What I didn't fully understand at the time was that following God's direction didn't mean the road ahead would be easy.

Along that journey, I faced an incredibly difficult health trial involving my hands. Something I had once taken for granted became a daily reminder of how fragile our sense of control really is. The inflammation and physical struggles brought uncertainty, frustration, and questions I couldn't easily answer.

There is something humbling about facing a situation you cannot fix through your own determination. I had spent much of my life believing that if I worked hard enough, planned carefully enough, or pushed through enough obstacles, I could find a way forward. But this season brought me to a place where my own strength simply wasn't enough.

And that's where God began to deal with my heart.

I began to realize that surrendering to Jesus meant more than believing in Him or asking Him to bless the plans I had already made. It meant trusting Him with my future, my health, my family, my ambitions, and even the parts of my life I was afraid to release.

It meant allowing Him to refine my character, expose areas of pride and self-reliance, and teach me to depend on Him in ways I hadn't before.

I wanted answers. I wanted healing. I wanted to understand why I was walking through something so difficult. But through that process, the Lord was teaching me something deeper: I needed to seek His presence, not simply His provision.

That didn't make the pain disappear overnight, and it didn't mean every day was easy. But it began to change the way I approached my circumstances. Instead of measuring God's goodness by how quickly my situation improved, I was learning to trust His character even when I couldn't understand His timing.

And by God's grace, healing became part of my story.

I give Jesus Christ the glory for the healing I experienced in my hands. But when I look back at that season, I see more than physical restoration. I see a God who was patiently working on my heart, teaching me humility, deepening my faith, and bringing me to a place of surrender that I might never have reached had everything gone according to my plans.

I wouldn't have chosen that wilderness. Yet I can now recognize how God used it to shape me.

Somewhere along that journey, the Lord began placing a new vision on my heart. What if something as ordinary as a morning cup of coffee could become an invitation to spend time with Jesus? What if we could create a place where people felt encouraged to open their Bibles, seek the Lord, and share what He had done in their lives?

That vision eventually became Cross & Coffee Company.

But to me, Cross & Coffee has never been simply about selling coffee or apparel. It is a ministry born out of obedience, surrender, and a desire to glorify Jesus Christ. Our mission is to encourage people to start their day at the foot of the Cross, to build meaningful Christian community, and to remind others of the incredible power found in sharing their testimonies.

That same passion led us to begin the Cross & Coffee Podcast, where we have the privilege of hearing how God has moved in the lives of others. And now it has led us here, to 50 States, 50 Testimonies, with a prayer that stories of His faithfulness will reach people across America.

Revelation 12:11 speaks of overcoming by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. That Scripture is deeply personal to me because I know what it means to look back at a difficult chapter and recognize that Jesus was present through it all.

If you're reading this while walking through your own wilderness, I want to encourage you. I don't know what you're facing, how long you've been waiting, or what questions you're carrying. But I do know that a difficult season does not mean God has abandoned you.

Sometimes the Lord is doing a work within us that we cannot yet see. Sometimes the surrender He is asking of us is more significant than the outcome we're desperately praying for.

My story isn't about how strong I was. It's about how faithful Jesus has been.

He met me in uncertainty. He refined my character through hardship. He taught me to surrender. He brought healing into my life. And He gave me a purpose greater than anything I could have built on my own.

And now, through Cross & Coffee, my prayer is that others would come to know that same Jesus.

All glory belongs to Him.

With love and gratitude,

Michael Gerasimenko
Founder, Cross & Coffee Company
Start Your Day at the Foot of the Cross.